Recently I have read this brilliant speech by American writer George Saunders.
The article was on NYTimes.com, link is here:
http://6thfloor.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/george-saunderss-advice-to-graduates/?_r=1&
I decided to translate this speech to my own language, sometime translating things helps me understand it deeper.
Down through the ages, a traditional form has evolved for this type of speech, which is: Some old fart, his best years behind him, who, over the course of his life, has made a series of dreadful mistakes (that would be me), gives heartfelt advice to a group of shining, energetic young people, with all of their best years ahead of them (that would be you).
自很久以前畢業演講這個傳統沿襲至今，一個老傢伙，人生最好的年華已經過去， 在一生中犯過很多錯誤 （指我），給一群精力充沛，未來充滿希望的年輕人 （你們）分想自他心底發出的人生感言。
And I intend to respect that tradition.
今天我打算遵循這個傳統。
Now, one useful thing you can do with an old person, in addition to borrowing money from them, or asking them to do one of their old-time “dances,” so you can watch, while laughing, is ask: “Looking back, what do you regret?” And they’ll tell you. Sometimes, as you know, they’ll tell you even if you haven’t asked. Sometimes, even when you’ve specifically requested they not tell you, they’ll tell you.
當你面對一個老人的時候，除了問他借錢，或者是請他跳段舊時的舞蹈讓你取樂，你還可以選擇做件更有意義的事，那就是問他，回顧過去，有沒有什麼後悔的事情。他會告訴你的。有些時候，你不問，他也會和你說。更有時候，你叫他別說後悔的往事，他還會堅持要分享給你。
So: What do I regret? Being poor from time to time? Not really. Working terrible jobs, like “knuckle-puller in a slaughterhouse?” (And don’t even ASK what that entails.) No. I don’t regret that. Skinny-dipping in a river in Sumatra, a little buzzed, and looking up and seeing like 300 monkeys sitting on a pipeline, pooping down into the river, the river in which I was swimming, with my mouth open, naked? And getting deathly ill afterwards, and staying sick for the next seven months? Not so much. Do I regret the occasional humiliation? Like once, playing hockey in front of a big crowd, including this girl I really liked, I somehow managed, while falling and emitting this weird whooping noise, to score on my own goalie, while also sending my stick flying into the crowd, nearly hitting that girl? No. I don’t even regret that.
那麼，我後悔什麼呢？人生中贫窮的日子？不是。做一些很糟糕的工作，比如在屠宰場處理動物的屍體？（別讓我提起具體的細節）不， 我也不後悔。那麼， 也許是當我在蘇門答臘島的一條河流裡游泳的時候，突然發現三百多只猴子集體在河裡排便，而我全身赤裸浸泡在河水里，並且之後患重病長達七個月的經歷？ 也不是。
But here’s something I do regret:
真正讓我後悔的是這麼一件事
In seventh grade, this new kid joined our class. In the interest of confidentiality, her Convocation Speech name will be “ELLEN.” ELLEN was small, shy. She wore these blue cat’s-eye glasses that, at the time, only old ladies wore. When nervous, which was pretty much always, she had a habit of taking a strand of hair into her mouth and chewing on it.
我上七年級的時候， 班裡加入了一個新同學。顧及隱私，讓我們稱她艾倫。艾倫很嬌小，害羞。她戴那種藍色的貓眼型的眼鏡，在那時候，只有老太太戴那種眼鏡。艾倫覺得緊張的時候，她常常會把一撮頭髮唅在嘴巴里咀嚼。
So she came to our school and our neighborhood, and was mostly ignored, occasionally teased (“Your hair taste good?” – that sort of thing). I could see this hurt her. I still remember the way she’d look after such an insult: eyes cast down, a little gut-kicked, as if, having just been reminded of her place in things, she was trying, as much as possible, to disappear. After awhile she’d drift away, hair-strand still in her mouth. At home, I imagined, after school, her mother would say, you know: “How was your day, sweetie?” and she’d say, “Oh, fine.” And her mother would say, “Making any friends?” and she’d go, “Sure, lots.”
就這樣她來到了我們學校，成了我們社區的一份子。大部份時候沒人搭理她，有時有人會取笑她，會說“你的頭髮很好吃嗎？”之類的譏諷。我能看出她挺受傷。我仍然記得她被取笑後受傷的模樣。目光低垂，心裡受了打擊，好像總在被提醒她的卑微地位，於是她試著盡量不被人注意。漸漸的她越來越不合群，仍然愛嚼頭髮。我猜想，當她回到家，她母親會問“甜心，你今天在學校過得怎樣？” 她會說：“都好啊”。她妈妈接著問：”你結交道新朋友了嗎？“ 她回答：”當然， 很多。“
Sometimes I’d see her hanging around alone in her front yard, as if afraid to leave it.
有的時候，我會看見她在自家院子前徘徊很久，好像很不想離開的樣子。
And then – they moved. That was it. No tragedy, no big final hazing.
之後， 他們就搬走了。就是這樣， 沒有什麼戲劇性的結尾。
One day she was there, next day she wasn’t.
一天她來到這裡，另一天就離開了。
End of story.
故事結束。
Now, why do I regret that? Why, forty-two years later, am I still thinking about it? Relative to most of the other kids, I was actually pretty nice to her. I never said an unkind word to her. In fact, I sometimes even (mildly) defended her.
現在，也許你會問我有什麼後悔的？為什麼42年後我還會記得這件小事？相比較於其他孩子，我其實對她算是友善的，從來沒有對她惡語相加過。實際上，我有時還會替她抱不平（很微弱的）。
But still. It bothers me.
儘管如此，我還是為此事困擾。
So here’s something I know to be true, although it’s a little corny, and I don’t quite know what to do with it:
What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness.
漸漸我意識到了一個事實，那就是我一生中最後悔的是不能夠對他人展示我的善意。
Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded…sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly.
這些時刻是當另一個人在我面前忍受著痛苦，而我僅僅給予他很淡漠的回應。
Or, to look at it from the other end of the telescope: Who, in your life, do you remember most fondly, with the most undeniable feelings of warmth?
那麼從望遠鏡的另一端看，誰在你的人生中最讓你難以忘懷？難道不就是那些給你無限溫暖和善意的人嗎？
Those who were kindest to you, I bet.
我打賭一定是那些對你很好的人。
It’s a little facile, maybe, and certainly hard to implement, but I’d say, as a goal in life, you could do worse than: Try to be kinder.
也許這聽起來很膚淺，而且很難實施。 但我覺得以做一個善良的人作為人生的目標， 是一個不錯的決定。
Now, the million-dollar question: What’s our problem? Why aren’t we kinder?
接下來有人會問我們是有什麼問題， 為什麼不能更善良一些？
Here’s what I think:
下面是我的想法：
Each of us is born with a series of built-in confusions that are probably somehow Darwinian. These are: (1) we’re central to the universe (that is, our personal story is the main and most interesting story, the only story, really); (2) we’re separate from the universe (there’s US and then, out there, all that other junk – dogs and swing-sets, and the State of Nebraska and low-hanging clouds and, you know, other people), and (3) we’re permanent (death is real, o.k., sure – for you, but not for me).
也許根據達爾文進化論， 我們求生的本能讓我們有這樣幾個認知上的誤區：1.我們是宇宙的中心，我們的故事是最有意義的，而且是唯一的 2. 我們和宇宙上其他事物是分開的，總是有一個你我之分，狗，昆蟲，遙遠的地方， 天上的雲彩，你知道， 都是些與己無關的事物 3 我們是永久的， 死亡只發生在其他人身上
Now, we don’t really believe these things – intellectually we know better – but we believe them viscerally, and live by them, and they cause us to prioritize our own needs over the needs of others, even though what we really want, in our hearts, is to be less selfish, more aware of what’s actually happening in the present moment, more open, and more loving.
當然，理智告訴我們並不能相信上述的認知， 但我們有時還是會盲目自大， 並以此作為我們生存的守則， 於是我們總把自己的需求放在他人之前， 雖然我們內心都想變得更無私， 更專注當下， 讓我們的心胸更開闊， 充滿愛。
So, the second million-dollar question: How might we DO this? How might we become more loving, more open, less selfish, more present, less delusional, etc., etc?
下一個問題就是那我們該怎樣做呢？我們怎樣才能更加充滿愛，心胸更開闊，更關注當下，少些虛空的幻想？
Well, yes, good question.
這是一個很好的問題。
Unfortunately, I only have three minutes left.
很可惜， 我只有三分鐘的演講時間。
So let me just say this. There are ways. You already know that because, in your life, there have been High Kindness periods and Low Kindness periods, and you know what inclined you toward the former and away from the latter. Education is good; immersing ourselves in a work of art: good; prayer is good; meditation’s good; a frank talk with a dear friend; establishing ourselves in some kind of spiritual tradition – recognizing that there have been countless really smart people before us who have asked these same questions and left behind answers for us.
讓我這麼說，辦法一定是有的。 你其實已經知道該怎麼做了。回想你的人生， 一定有過善良和不那麼善良的階段，你知道是哪些事情讓你變得溫柔一些，而哪些事情讓你更冷漠一些。 教育是有效的，接近藝術也有用，祈禱很好，冥想也可以，和朋友傾談，追尋一種信仰－意識到在我們之前已經有很多明智的人問過相同的問題並為我們留下了答案。
Because kindness, it turns out, is hard – it starts out all rainbows and puppy dogs, and expands to include…well,everything.
因為做一個善良的人不是一件容易的事，開始也許僅僅是小狗和彩虹，漸漸的它延續到生活個個方面。
One thing in our favor: some of this “becoming kinder” happens naturally, with age. It might be a simple matter of attrition: as we get older, we come to see how useless it is to be selfish – how illogical, really. We come to love other people and are thereby counter-instructed in our own centrality. We get our butts kicked by real life, and people come to our defense, and help us, and we learn that we’re not separate, and don’t want to be. We see people near and dear to us dropping away, and are gradually convinced that maybe we too will drop away (someday, a long time from now). Most people, as they age, become less selfish and more loving. I think this is true. The great Syracuse poet, Hayden Carruth, said, in a poem written near the end of his life, that he was “mostly Love, now.”
一件對我們有利的事情是，我們隨著年齡的增長內心會變得柔軟些。也許這是自然在做減法，我們年紀越大，意識到自私是一件很沒有意義的事情，完全不符合邏輯。我們對他人更有愛，漸漸不以自我為中心。我們在漫漫人生路上被現實打擊的頭破血流，這時其他人向我們伸出援手，這時我們意識到我們不是孤立的個體， 也不想孤立無援。 我們身邊深愛的人漸漸離我們而去， 我們意識到有一天我們也會離開這個世界。大部分的人隨著年齡的增長，內心變得柔軟，少些自私。我相信現實是這樣的。一個偉大的詩人在他人生快到盡頭的時候寫到他當下的人生大部份被愛充滿。
And so, a prediction, and my heartfelt wish for you: as you get older, your self will diminish and you will grow in love. YOU will gradually be replaced by LOVE. If you have kids, that will be a huge moment in your process of self-diminishment. You really won’t care what happens to YOU, as long as they benefit. That’s one reason your parents are so proud and happy today. One of their fondest dreams has come true: you have accomplished something difficult and tangible that has enlarged you as a person and will make your life better, from here on in, forever.
所以如果預言成真，我衷心祝願你，在你漸漸年長時，你以自我為中心的意識漸漸削弱，取而代之的是愛。漸漸“自我”被“愛”換代。如果你有小孩，這是削弱自我最有效的過程。 你自己怎樣已不重要，一切以孩子為重。這也是為什麼今天的畢業典禮上你的父母為你如此驕傲。他們對你最美好的期待變成真：你完成了人生階段裡一段艱難的蛻變，你成長了並且希望今後你的生活會越來越好。
Congratulations, by the way.
在此我祝賀你們。
When young, we’re anxious – understandably – to find out if we’ve got what it takes. Can we succeed? Can we build a viable life for ourselves? But you – in particular you, of this generation – may have noticed a certain cyclical quality to ambition. You do well in high-school, in hopes of getting into a good college, so you can do well in the good college, in the hopes of getting a good job, so you can do well in the good job so you can….
我們年輕時總是充滿焦慮，這是可以理解的，我們總在考慮我們具備成功的條件嗎？我們可以養活自己嗎？但你們這一代是野心膨脹的一代。高中時你想努力考進最好的大學，進了好的大學，你又想做得很出色這樣畢業後可以有一個好的工作，有了好的工作你又在計劃下一個階段的人生。。。
And this is actually O.K. If we’re going to become kinder, that process has to include taking ourselves seriously – as doers, as accomplishers, as dreamers. We have to do that, to be our best selves.
這沒有錯。如果我們想做一個更好的人，一定不能避免要完善自身的階段，我們想有所成，有夢想。我們必須讓自己成為一個出色的人。
Still, accomplishment is unreliable. “Succeeding,” whatever that might mean to you, is hard, and the need to do so constantly renews itself (success is like a mountain that keeps growing ahead of you as you hike it), and there’s the very real danger that “succeeding” will take up your whole life, while the big questions go untended.
但是，成功是一個不可靠的事情。成功，無論對你的意義是怎樣的，它是需要不斷被創新的（就像爬山，總是一山更比一山高），很有可能你一生都在追尋下一個高峰而忽略了人生真正重要的問題。
So, quick, end-of-speech advice: Since, according to me, your life is going to be a gradual process of becoming kinder and more loving: Hurry up. Speed it along. Start right now. There’s a confusion in each of us, a sickness, really:selfishness. But there’s also a cure. So be a good and proactive and even somewhat desperate patient on your own behalf – seek out the most efficacious anti-selfishness medicines, energetically, for the rest of your life.
那麼，讓我快點總結我的人生感言：根據我的分析人生是一個漸漸變得柔軟善良的過程，那麼，快點加速這個過程吧。讓我們從現在開始做起。我們每個人自身都有一個困惑，它像一個疾病一樣，這就是“自私”。但解藥一定存在。那麼就請你對自己有些耐心，慢慢找出你最有效的對抗自私的解藥，並用你接下來的人生去對抗自私。
Do all the other things, the ambitious things – travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes, swim naked in wild jungle rivers (after first having it tested for monkey poop) – but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness. Do those things that incline you toward the big questions, and avoid the things that would reduce you and make you trivial. That luminous part of you that exists beyond personality – your soul, if you will – is as bright and shining as any that has ever been. Bright as Shakespeare’s, bright as Gandhi’s, bright as Mother Teresa’s. Clear away everything that keeps you separate from this secret luminous place. Believe it exists, come to know it better, nurture it, share its fruits tirelessly.
你也不需要放棄你的野心，可以去旅遊，去努力成名，去創新， 去做一個領袖，去相愛，變得富裕，在熱帶雨林的河流裡裸泳（別忘了現查查是否有猴子在裡面排便）。但請你在這個過程裡，別忘記向做一個善良的人的方向靠近。做那些有助於你探尋人生真諦的事情，遠離那些讓你變得瑣碎渺小的事情。找出你自身閃光的地方，它比你的性格還要重要，你的靈魂永遠會閃閃發光。你的靈魂就像其他偉人一樣閃爍，比如莎士比亞，甘地，修女特勒沙。摒除那些阻擋你和內心這個閃亮的地方接觸的事物。相信它的存在，瞭解它，滋養它，並且和其他人分享你靈魂的光亮。
And someday, in 80 years, when you’re 100, and I’m 134, and we’re both so kind and loving we’re nearly unbearable, drop me a line, let me know how your life has been. I hope you will say: It has been so wonderful.
80年後，你100歲，我134歲時，我們都變得無可救藥的善良和充滿愛，給我留個言，告訴我你的人生怎樣。我希望你會說，我的人生非常美好。
Congratulations, Class of 2013.
祝賀你們 2013的畢業生們
I wish you great happiness, all the luck in the world, and a beautiful summer.
我祝你快樂，幸運，有一個美好的夏天
LIYANG'S THOUGHTS 