It was a wonderful family holiday in Hainan. I have been back to work for a week now.
Right now I am juggling three projects, all happening in the next three months.
Again there is no planning here, have to keep telling myself do not expect too much on process and order. Run with it and try your very best to enjoy it along the way.
It must be why I was so exhausted by the end of last year, how do I put it, it’s like the constant worrying of something go wrong. Your mind is always on the next problem, waiting for someone to give you the next information to keep things going.
What does my work really involve?This is my imaginative way of explaining what I do. There are lots of threads in my hands, I pull them one by one, sometime they get all tangled up , my goal is to trace till the end of the thread. I hope its a smooth run without getting everything tangled up or broken off half way through.
There are quite a few trips coming up in the next month or two. If I dont change the team half way, I will get to visit some places new. I am not sure why I dont look forward to it so much, maybe lack of self confidence on how well I will organise the trip?
Back to the workshop, it was good know the management see the problems that we are all experiencing at work, such as lack of process, unclear role definitions, lack of vision etc. I suppose you can only running wild without a clear path for so long. It will only be fun for a certain size, once the team gets bigger, it gets messier. Although its a creative environment, process and order will help ideas become reality in a more efficient way.
I have been dreaming a lot about my families, there are lots of unsettling feelings inside of me about my families. I am slowly realising the fact that most my family members are getting older. They will need my help more than before. I am no longer that small child who look up to them asking for support , the tables are turning. I am just not sure psychologically I am ready for this change. I have always been quite attached to my families. therefore when they experience some difficulties, it upsets me to realise the limitations of my ability to provide for them.
The new year goal is to become stronger. So I can be reliable to my loved ones. I feel like I am stretching my abilities to grow bigger and taller in the sense of a big tree, so I can provide shades to more people. I wonder what type of tree I would be ? Like the one in Rose Garden in Parnell? That would be nice.
LIYANG'S THOUGHTS 