The title should be more like country and woman. Today is the 70th birthday of the country I was born, it made me think of my relationship with my country. A person’s relationship with her country mostly depends on how she feels about her country. Its only when you need to apply for a passport or visa, you have to face the reality that your feelings toward your country do not mean much, rules are rules, borders are borders, the world is divided in many ways. There are boundaries.
The reason I want to record this day is because 70 years is a bit special. My grandparents contributed to how this country was founded, I grew up there till I turned 18. My parents have been through some of the most dramatic changes a person can have in terms of political and economic development in a short span of 65 years. I can continue to write and write about how significant this day is, but now let me just take notes of a few moments of today made me think of my country.
Woke up at 7am, open social media apps, read that the media company I used to work for has officially shut their operation. I worked there from 2015-2016. There were lots of memories, made some great friends, also learnt a lot about myself. Its definitely not an ordinary place to work, lots of talented people creating some unique stories. It does not surprise me to hear this news considering what is happening between the two big nations at the moment. Sometime it is not about what you do, its about where you are and when the time is. 天时，地利，人和，缺一不可。However, this place is just a platform, I trust these people who made contents that touched hearts and opened minds will continue to create good stuff.
On my way to work read an article about the amazing progress this country has made in the past 70 years, how many people were lifted out of poverty. I thought about how I came to NZ to study, if not because the motherland opened up to the world, and the economy improved dramatically from the 90s, I would not be where I am and typing these words down in English.
Got to work listening to songs from Band of Summer, this reality show helped lots of independent bands became well known. Its one of the best thing happened this summer, I watched pretty much every episode online, made me feel closer to the motherland I liked about, full of talented people who strive to make something no matter how difficult the environment they are in. Sometime it is like a pressure cooker, under pressure, amazing things can be achieved.
Lunch time went on Instagram, saw this journalist’s feed on some protests happening somewhere. A young girl aged in early 20s got pinned on the ground by three police, she kept looking into the journalist’s camera and repeating her name again and again. The journalist explained in caption that the girl did this so that if she disappeared the press could help to find her.
On the way home the national day parade started, my social media feeds were filled with shots of very handsome solders participated in the parade. Many people saying how proud they felt about the motherland. 70 years the country has been through so much, it is not easy to lift up this nation to where it is now. I can’t help to also feel moved by this emotion shared by masses of people.
Got in the car talking to M about my day. I told him this observation I suddenly had. His relationship with his country is very healthy and simple, they celebrate their national day also with parades and parties all over the country. They are very proud of who they are, there are lots of joy shared amongst ordinary people on this day. My relationship with my country is a lot more complicated and twisted. There is rarely a pure joy associated with my country’s celebration, it always comes with some history or current affairs make me think twice before I shout with pride that I love my motherland.
So country and woman, a strange relationship. At least to me it is. I hope one day I could just say without much hesitation that I am very happy and proud to be part of this nation, that is thriving, unstoppable and undefeatable.
LIYANG'S THOUGHTS 