Yesterday I went to a play workshop, the theme is “Other”. Its an immersive type of play, which rely on spontaneous acts from the participants through games, dance and poetry. I am not a big fan of plays, but I decide to participate in it because the theme is relate to being Chinese.
The group is made up by people from different ages and backgrounds, one thing in common is that we all looked Asian. Black hair , yellow skin. Some of them are Malaysian Chinese, some are 2nd or 3rd generation New Zealander Chinese. The workshop started with dancing to break the ice, then followed with questions and statements which each person share with the group what their opinions are.
What surprised me is what I wrote at the end of the session during a 2 mins free writing, basically you write nonstop for 2 mints of whatever came to your mind. Here is my writing ” I am not easily satisfied. I don’t agree with lots of things happening right now in the world. I see lots of pain and injustice. I lost beliefs in many things I use to believe in. I felt there are rules which ordinary hardworking people live by, but the rich and powerful can disregard these rules. I use to be easily satisfied with explanations on things now I question many of them. I ask why and become suspicious of the answers given to me. I became more curious what forms our society and how public opinions are shifted.”
This workshop is to discuss what its like being Chinese living in a non-Chinese society. I am not sure how I end up with these thoughts from a culture and identity workshop. For the past few weeks so much happened around me. I am amazed and at the same time dumbfounded by how bizarre things happen in life. I have not experienced such intense self reflection in a long time. In times of change and uncertainty, we are faced with the fundamental questions of who I am. What I can do. What I am trying to achieve.
I understand it is important not to become too self indulgent, things go on, the sun will rise. Human and nature carry on as usual through the good and the bad. I will adapt to strange situations and the same time find new ways to enjoy different aspects of life.
I have been doing meditation every morning before I get into the office. I have not noticed any significant changes with me, probably that I am more aware of my moods throughout the day.
Not sure how to end this note, be well, go well. Wishing light is with you, whoever is reading it.
LIYANG'S THOUGHTS 