This is the last week for me at the company I have worked for the past 4 years.
I felt very happy when I made the decision to resign. This happiness remains after 3 weeks I turned in the resignation letter.
I returned to work 7 months into my maternity leave. Looking back, was it too soon to return to work? Maybe. But there are many factors made me leave this job.
Since April last year, right before I was about to go on MAT leave, there were quite a lot of internal changes. During MAT leave, most of the colleagues I worked closely with have left the company. When I returned to work, it really felt like starting a new job at an old company. It was a very strange situation to be in. There are lots of new things happening which I suppose to be excited about, instead I felt overwhelmed and under valued most of time being back at work.
There were times before going into a meeting I felt dreaded to join the discussion, as I know at the end of these meetings I often left with increasing amount of work without any clear plan on how to achieve results. The goal post is constantly shifting. There is lack of communication from top management, we have team members announcing departures almost on a weekly basis and yet we do not hear anyone acknowledge the high turnover and care about the reason behind it. I felt I was just part of a machine, I am easily replaced and the values I held about the work are no longer relevant to the company.
I thought about if this is something to do with me not managing the stress of having two kids and working full time, there are areas I could develop and manage better. When I talk to colleagues who have left the company, I was also reminded there has to be something not right for the company to lose an entire team of staff members in less than 12 months.
Covid made us realise how much can change in a short span of time. A simple thing as booking a plane ticket and take off to somewhere new has become impossible in the recent years. Most people have low tolerance of disruptions and changes, even though we have been told again and again that changes are inevitable, it is part of life and we must adapt. I do believe the world is changing constantly in crazy ways, but there are some values should remain the same. My health, my family’s wellbeing come top priority in my list of things that truly matter to me. What I do need to align with what I believe in.
It is not easy and can be quite scary to give up a full time job without landing another one. However, deep down I know that I am valuable and I have a unique set of skills which I can contribute them to something more meaningful. I will work with people who are kind, empathetic, authentic and do what they say they are going to do. With time, I will get there, a new chapter is waiting to begin, I am excited about it.
Watch this space.
LIYANG'S THOUGHTS 