Run 2

by liyangsthoughts, posted in Anything and everything

Oh I went for a run again today. Its a warm nice evening, saw the ginger cat after my run.

Its very quiet in this neighbourhood in the evenings. Comparing to the days in Beijing feels like I have moved to a different planet.

Magnus and I do miss the summer evenings in Beijing, we would ride on the bike to go through the hustings after having some BBQ skewers for dinner. Those were the carefree days.

Bella cried a lot before going to sleep tonight, me, Magnus and my mum take turns to go into her room try to calm her down. In the end, grandma did the job of getting her to sleep. The magic of grandparents…

Run

by liyangsthoughts, posted in Life down under

Today I went out for a run after putting Bella to bed. It is summer in Auckland now, and the evening temperature is the most comfortable. I decided to develop a hobby. I always envy people who are more fit than me. Running is something I was good at when I was young, so why not pick it up again.

It was a very beautiful evening , the sun was going down. The colours of the sky were various shades of gold. I didn’t feel that breathless after completing a circle around the block.

Its a good idea to write it down. Lets see how far I can take this hobby of running. I was never good at keep doing one thing for a long time, maybe it is time to start one.

My goal is whenever I feel tired or need a pick up of energy, I can just get into a pair of running shoes and go out then come back feeling fully charged again. Running could be my way of charging the batteries.

Till then

A late entry into 2017

by liyangsthoughts, posted in Parenthood

We have already made half way into 2017, and I have not posted anything till now. Guess what? I have the perfect excuse – I am a mother now and my time is tight.

Magnus and I have been learning parenting since 14th February. Isabella Lehne arrived almost 7 weeks earlier than the due date. She caught us completely off guard, I arrived hospital that day with a stuffed toy which my mum gave me before we left Beijing. That’s not the most useful thing to have when you are about to give birth, but then I really thought I was going to stay in the hospital for a few days before baby arrived. It turned out child birth was not something went according to plan.

Isabella came to earthside with a doctor pulled her hard with forceps. She came out quite bruised, and we spent two weeks at the Auckland Hospital’s New Born Intensive Care unit. We received the best care we could wish for, the doctors and nurses were  just incredible during our stay. We are very grateful to start out the journey of parenthood with such warm and amazing support.

My parents arrived Auckland a month after Isabella. It was nice for Magnus and I to have the complete alone time with Isabella before that. Of course, I count myself very lucky to have the full support of my amazing parents in every way. However, I still believe that with a newborn, the parents should be the main care givers. The Chinese way of letting elders or professional baby care givers to take over the feeding and other duties are not something I prefer to go with. Also in Chinese culture, mothers go through the first month after birth with extra care on eating special foods, no going outside, no touching cold water, no lifting heavy things etc. It is called confinement. There is a long list of things mothers are forbidden to do. I was constantly reminded by my mother and other female relatives on the importance of these rules. Well I must admit that I ignored most of them. The reason is I believe in mind over body. Happy mum means happy baby. Post birth, there were so much going on. Since Isabella stayed at NICU, we visited her daily. It was overwhelming for us to keep updated on her progress and learning how to take care of her. I simply did not have any extra energy to care about those confinement rules that base on little or no medical reasons. I understand to some extent why these rules exist, but deep down I feel these rules in some way diminish a new mother’s strength to look after herself and her baby. Also all the worrying of doing the right thing is putting on extra stress to myself.

Looking back, the first two month were the hardest. Now Isabella is almost 4 month old. She is a happy and chilled baby. Magnus and I tell ourselves we are so lucky to have her in our lives everyday. She made us better and happier people by simply being her. I read something the other day which made a lot of sense. When we were born, we changed our parents lives forever. We want to change the world, actually when we were just babies, being a baby has already shifted our parents world in many ways.  Being a new mother, my view on many things in life have taken a different perspective. I am certain that there is so much more I will discover on the journey of parenthood. Happiness only exist when it is shared, and it’s my utmost pleasure to have Isabella join our little team and I can’t wait to share everything with her.

Dear You

by liyangsthoughts, posted in Parenthood

Dear you

We are going to meet in late March next year if everything goes according to plan.

Its funny that M and I have not met you and we already love you so much. Every morning I look into the mirror and feel in awe of my tummy. It gets bigger and bigger. I use to be a little obsessed on keeping fit, but now I enjoy eat all the foods so that you get to have some too.

Today I want to write you a note, because yesterday this big country called America has elected its new president. This is a big deal to the world. Although M and I both aren’t American citizens, we both felt the result has shaken us to the core. The reason is that this world is connected in ways it has never been before. What happens to one part of the world can also have a significant impact on people like us. We are just a little worried what this new president represent might be the complete opposite of what we believe in. His values and ideas hopefully wont shift the world to the dark side.

What kind of a world will welcome your arrival ? I dont know yet. However I do have some hopes. I want it to be an open space, with lots of opportunities. These opportunities are not just for people to make more wealth, instead they are to enable us as human beings to do more good, to create meaningful things and beautiful things.

We will move back to New Zealand on the 31st of Dec, celebrate the new year in air, and arrive NZ on the first day of 2017. I really hope you will have a childhood that is green, clean, safe and the same time full of little wonderful adventures. I cant guarantee the world will be the safest to your generation, as it has never been 100% safe, but I will do my absolute best to make you feel that you can achieve anything you want, be who you want and go anywhere you wish.

Next Monday we will know if you are a girl or a boy. If you are a girl, just remember, girls can be president too. If you are a boy, just remember violence and war never solved any problems, I hope you have enough wisdom and courage to help others.

Till then

Your mum

Fixed vs. Growth

by liyangsthoughts, posted in Words that matter

Today I read this fantastic article on the two mindsets which shape our lives.

It helps me to assess the current struggles I am facing at work. I seem to keep wanting to get the affirmation and not getting it making me stressed and doubt myself. After reading this article, I realise its a big mistake I am making for wanting evaluation from others. What I should focus on is do my own thing and focus on learning new skills.

Sometime we waste too much of our time thinking about what others think of us, what they think about our work performance, how we perform in a team. Actually, the reality is no one is paying much attention to another person unless 1. They have to produce a feedback under company procedure 2. This person made a big mistake at work and it requires damage control. Other than these two situations, I believe most people are so involved with their own plans and things to do, they do not really care much about how others are doing or feeling at work. Let alone we are talking about China workplace, where there is a huge population and work force, everyone is replaceable. Therefore, there is less of a reason for someone to care too much about another person’s career development. Why care about the long term development when you can not guarantee this person will stay on this job after 6 or 9 months.

Once I figure this out,  the best mindset in my situation is to focus on personal growth. Yes I make mistakes, yes I am not doing the right thing and yes I am not producing results. But because the situation is so uncomfortable, it means I am right out of my comfort zone. I am learning how to balance work relations and personal friendship, how not to judge someone solely base on their work performance. How to be patient and believe that being uncomfortable is a phase that will pass. It is ok to feel suck at work, as long as I am learning something out of this situation.

To end this entry, “The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of the growth mindset. This is the mindset that allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times in their lives.”

“At the heart of what makes the “growth mindset” so winsome is that it creates a passion for learning rather than a hunger for approval.”